When things get so bad, it’s hard to even imagine how God could doing anything to help. Needs are physical. Circumstances often are seemingly permanent. Personalities are set and habits are hard to break. How can God change someone’s DNA?
I’m not a perfect wife, but God uses our imperfections to perfect each other.
I remember Steve saying, “You are never going to change. God isn’t going to just magically turn you into the woman I need.” The truth is, he was right (sort of). God didn’t snap His fingers and turn me into his ideal wife. The truth is, I’m still not a perfect wife, but God uses our imperfections to perfect each other.
At the time, Steve was only thinking about how God could change me. In dark places, you don’t see the whole picture. You only see what you want to. Just like walking through darkness, you only see what you shine light on; and he sure was shining a lot of light on all my flaws and shortcomings. However, God wasn’t just interested in fixing me for Steve. He was interested in transforming our hearts for Him and for each other.
And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. –Ezekiel 36:26
The miracle in our marriage was not just the fact we are still together. The miracles in our marriage today (this process has taken time) is that God has changed our hearts. Not only do we love each other more deeply, we have more grace for one another and we have a healthier view of what a Godly marriage should look like. A strong marriage isn’t a perfect one. It’s one that works together toward one common goal.
In many ways, we went from a marriage built on 50/50 effort, selfish desires and comparisons to a faith-based marriage built on a foundation of grace, abundance and gratitude. Same marriage in many ways, but we are different people with a different vision of our life and our purpose. Now we know what we are really working toward. Keep word: WORKING.
For the first time in our married lives, we have realistic healthy marriage goals. The same way our fitness journey requires clear goals and is often a long journey, building a healthy strong marriage also requires clear goals and takes a lot of time, energy, patience, knowledge, wisdom, self-discipline, accountability, and coaching.
God coaches us through scripture, softens our heart through prayer and speaks to us through songs, friends and mentors. Marriages need help. WE still need help, encouragement and support.
In addition to a lifelong commitment to each other, we must commit to making regular investments in our marriage’s health. Just like we go to the gym regularly and hang out with people who support us, we need to invest in our marriage and surround ourselves with people who can support us – and I am so excited to be a part of the 2B1 Life global marriage project.
Build a Marriage that WINS
Watch our full story in the 2B1 Life Summit April 20-22, a 3-day virtual event. Every day at 6am, they will release all the sessions so you can watch what you want, when you want. All sessions will be live for 24 hours or you can get the VIP package for unlimited access.
Trust me. Just like fitness, workouts are hard and dieting is even harder. But, also like fitness, the investment is always worth it.