Don’t Throw It All Away
I have met so many people, on the successful end of their fitness journey, who once had a story of failure. Time after time, I’ve heard stories of how people didn’t stick to a diet, how fitness didn’t work for them, how they wasted a gym membership, quit a program, lost weight only to gain it right back, gave up, quit or failed. And then, they made that decision to give it another try – and they succeeded!
My mom tried every diet in the book over a 30 year span, resulting in one failure after another. Today, she stands tall and proud, 100lbs lighter – and has KEPT it off for several years. BUT, what if she never kept trying? What if she decided she was doomed for failure? Do you think she, or any of the people around her who knew she had a history of being on a life-long diet, believed THIS would be IT? I don’t even know if she believed she could do it when she started, but she started anyway.
Ready for Success
What makes someone succeed THIS time? As much as I’d love to believe it’s our awesome training, our BCx Boot Camp or our gym, they cannot be successful until YOU are ready to be successful.
One, I think you have to let go completely of all your selfish desires. You have to decide that the heavy you, and how you were used to living, is dead and gone – and a new improved you requires drastic change. After you let go of what you think your body wants (food, laziness, not to “miss out” on “living”, etc), then you can focus on what you really want – and what that requires. Once you get your head in the game, you have to commit to it. You have decide you are not stopping no matter how rough it is, how slow it is, and how frustrated you get. Sometimes, you have to purposefully be reminded of where that old destructive path led you.
Strip Away the Old You
I believe you have to get SO sick of the old you, that you realize there is no other choice. Something’s gotta change – and the only thing that YOU can change, is YOU. You realize all your old ways brought you to this ugly place. You recognize the destruction. You acknowledged the unhappiness it has caused. Once those things are very real to you, then you embrace change. You welcome the stripping of flesh, lies and comforts. Once covered with excuses, now you are “naked” and exposed for who you really are and what you have really been allowing in your life that needs to go. You confess (admit) that maybe you have been doing things wrong and that it’s nobody else’s fault. Then, and only then, can you start working on you. You will welcome the clothing of everything healthy. You will be excited about your “2nd, 3rd, or 99th chance” to change – and once you put those healthy things into your life, you realize how good it feels do treat your body right and to do what is right. Then, when you start getting results (which you will) you will never want to go back.
Once you have gone through the mental preparation that success requires, you are ready to show up. You will still have doubt. You will still have temptations. You will wonder what is on the other side, and wonder if this time will be different. You will likely fight the old you every day in some way. BUT, if you keep showing up, you WILL win.
As I reflect on my 19th Wedding Anniversary, I think of all the days we didn’t know what was next. We didn’t know if “this time” it would be better. We didn’t know if we could succeed. BUT we decided to keep showing up. We’ll never forget a scene in a TV show where the main character asked his boss, who was celebrating his anniversary, what the secret to his marriage was and he said “I just keep showing up”. This is not just the case in marriage, but it is the case in fitness – and many other areas of our lives. It became our motto.
There will be many days we don’t want to go to the gym. There will be numerous days we don’t want to do the same job, be married to the same man, or even live the same life. We all have days we don’t want to “show up”, BUT you also never know if the next time you show up, it will be the beginning of success.
Like a dieter who failed 100 times, or the gym member that quit too many times to count, the NEXT time may be the BEST time – and you will NEVER know, if you don’t show up.
Thank you Steve for continuing to show up, even when you didn’t feel like it. Thank you for teaching me to never give up – on us, on fitness and on life. Happy Anniversary!
Do you remember the show, “Let’s Make a Deal“? This was the game show where a contestant is given a prize, like a TV, and then has the option to trade that prize for another prize. The catch? The other prizes are a mystery. It could be bigger and better, or could be a total disappointment. Since the pressure can be too difficult to handle, some contestants choose to keep what they have.
I think this is how we treat our life many times. We choose our current situation, no matter how bad it is, because we hate the unknown even more.
The unknown is scary and being out of control is no fun, but those two things go hand in hand with change. Change requires letting go and taking a leap of faith. Unfortunately, no matter how uncomfortable you may be right this minute, no matter how fat you feel, how tight your pants are, how bad your last doctor’s visit was, or how unhealthy and out of shape you feel, you STILL may not be ready for change.
Who’s In Control?
Ironically, people will choose to stay in their current yucky condition over getting healthy simply because they don’t like being out of control. Sadly, the person who thinks they are in control (and thinks they can eat whatever they want and do what they want) is the most out of control person of all. They have no control of their body compared to the someone who puts restrictions on what they eat and do. The person who has the most control is the person practicing self-control.
You see, you have 2 choices. You can control your body, or you can let your body control you. We are in a constant battle with our flesh. Our body will always want to be lazy and eat for pleasure. But, our mind knows better. We have goals in life. We know we can’t allow our body to do whatever it wants without experiencing repercussions. The problem is, the satisfaction of the temporary pleasure may currently outweigh the repercussions – until the repercussions get so uncomfortable you can’t take it anymore.
“You will be ready for change when you get to the point when your consequences of your actions outlast the pleasure of them.”
Like many repercussions of poor decisions, they build slowly. People don’t get obese overnight. A marriage rarely goes from happy to miserable in one day. Bad situations normally come from many bad decisions. In addition to bad decisions, bad situations become even more difficult because many people often ignore them. As if it’s not bad enough to make poor decisions, now you pretend your bad situation doesn’t exist.
Of course you WANT it to be better, but when you aren’t doing anything to help your situation, you are basically just HOPING it gets better on it’s own. Listen, whether you are struggling in your marriage, struggling with your weight or in your workplace, it will not get better on its own. Change requires work, even if all you can work on is you. Whatever your circumstance is, if it is not ideal, you need to be diligent and relentless to create enough change to make it better.
It’s time to surrender the “uncomfortable known” for the unknown and trade being IN control for being OUT of control – because often times the unknown will be much more comfortable than the known, and you will find there is much more freedom when you are willing to give up control and let go. Today’s the day to take a leap of faith.
Interestingly enough, fitness is not unknown. While many of your experiences along the way to getting fit may be unknown to you, your destination (being healthy) is very known. It’s a sure thing. Unlike “Let’s Make a Deal”, you know what you’ll get if you choose the healthy path. Yes, you will have to give up something, just like the contestants on the show, but does what you currently hold really outweigh the prize of health and having a fit body?
It’s time to “Make a Deal”. It’s time to trade your old ways and old body for a new and improved you – the best known prize of all.
Today’s blog was inspired by “Devotionary, a Devotion with Meaning” by Pastor Bob Coy
People say “don’t do it for anyone else, do it for yourself” but, with weight loss, sometimes that just isn’t enough. It’s unfortunate, but getting our own body fit isn’t always enough motivation to stick with it. Sometimes, there has to be more driving us. It might be an end-goal, like a race, a competition, a vacation, pictures, a job, a date, a reunion, a check up or a number on a scale, or it may be the mere pressure of everyone watching us.
We’ve all been there. We’ve either attempted a diet and failed, or we have set out for a goal that we never reached. If you are a yo-yo dieter that has battled with your weight all your life, one of the first things you think of is what others will think, or what people will say. Will they roll their eyes at your 135,827th attempt to lose weight or will they support you? Will they take you seriously this time? Will they believe in you? Or, are they actually hoping you will fail, so they can say “I told you so” or so things can go back to “normal”.
These are all very real feelings that go through people’s minds, and it can sabotage someone’s success before they even start – OR it can drive them to be a success.
Sometimes our fear of failure is what drives us to success. While I don’t believe we should always worry about what people think all the time, I do believe a healthy dose of care can give us the push we need to succeed.
No one likes being a failure. We all want to be successful, respected, valued and admired – and we can ALL be that person if we want to. We can be the example. We can show everyone in our shoes that they can succeed too. We can prove our enemies wrong and show them we DO have what it takes. We won’t need to talk about working out and dieting, or convince anyone of how bad we want to succeed. Our actions will be the proof of our desire. And the results will speak for themselves – and every day we are tempted to skip, slip, quit, cry, complain, we will remember those who are watching us and we will not give them the pleasure of seeing us fail.
Matching iPhone Lock Screen
Get a constant reminder that your actions always speak louder.
How bad do you want it? Then prove it each and every day!
Here is a simple concept: “Nothing changes if nothing changes”. WOW! What a revelation! I’m sure you already knew that, but I bet you haven’t always practiced what you’ve known. We complain about so many things in our life, yet many of us do nothing to make them better. Our job frustrates us, but we don’t work to improve it or find another job. Our marriage can be a mess, but we are too busy to get the help we need to fix it. Or, our weight is out of control, and we just keep doing what we always do, hoping someday it will change. How retarded is that?
I believe many of us get caught in this vicious cycle because we let our life direct us, instead of us directing our life. We live in survival mode, paycheck to paycheck, day to day, always thinking “if I can just get through this, I will..”. I’ve got news for you. You will never “get through this”. Sure, you might get through this particular trial, this season, this certain difficulty or this day, but as soon as you get through “this”, there will always be another “this” waiting for you.
What are you waiting for?
You have a decision to make. You can keep waiting for a better time to work on the things you know you need to be working on, and live in denial, waiting for life to be easier and your schedule to open up so you can make your dreams come true. OR, you can accept the fact that there is no good time to get healthy, get your life right, fix a relationship or get a better job. Honestly, NOW is the ONLY time that is right.
Believe me, I know. I have put off friendships, vacations, family, marriage, kids and many other opportunities for YEARS, under the assumption that there would be a “better time”. Now, I am 41 years old and I realize that time will NEVER come.
Procrastination: The thief of dreams
• If I want more time with the ones I love,
I can’t wait for time to open up, I have to open my time up.
• If I want to lose weight and get in better shape,
I can’t wait for the right time to work on it, I have to work on making the right time to do it.
• If I want to make more money or get a better job,
I can’t hope someone notices & values me, I have to work hard to be noticed & valued.
• If I want a better marriage,
I can’t wait for a magical moment, I have to create magical moments.
• If I want to get my life on the right track,
I can’t wait for my life to straighten out before I start working on it, I have to work on it (while it’s completely a mess) to begin straightening it out.
Our life will NEVER change unless we change it. What are some of the things you want to change? Are you doing what you need to do to make those changes? If not, you are wasting precious time. You don’t have to wait for change – make it.
Today’s Fitness Mantra:
When it comes to making our New Year’s Resolutions work, it’s all about sticking to your program. Many people START great, but something happens – or, should I say, nothing happens. We get out of our routine, we give up, we don’t try hard enough, we let things get in the way, we get sidetracked, we lose sight of our goals, or we don’t mean to quit. Many times, we procrastinate ourselves right to NEXT New Year! So how can we succeed this year?
You need to set some parameters. That’s right. You need rules! Adults HATE rules. We sure love to dish them out to kids, but we forget why rules are created – because we need boundaries. God recognized our need for rules from the very beginning. Remember the apple tree? How about the 10 commandments? Of course we could never keep them all, but they were created so that we would have standards to live by for the best life possible.
Well, if you haven’t set any fitness rules, then you are doing yourself a disservice. Because of our rebellious lazy nature, we must have rules in place to keep us in check and to give us something to reach for. Living life without rules is a recipe for disaster – and the same goes with fitness.
Here are some rules to get you started. Fill in the blank, add to the list, or make your own set of rules to fit your needs. Whatever you do, today is your day to play by the rules so you can be the winner you know you want to be.
5 Simple Rules to help you Stick with it!
It’s one thing to miss a couple of workouts, but it’s another thing to miss a couple of weeks. Make a pact that you will never miss more than a set number of days between workouts. For me, that number is 3. I will never miss more than 3 days in a row without exercise. During the week, I will only allow myself to skip 1 day. But, in the event I go out of town over a long weekend (3 days), that is the only chunk of time I will allow myself to take off so that I never get used to being lazy.
Rule #2: I will workout a minimum of ______ days a week.
If you don’t have a weekly goal, how do expect to stick with it? You have to have something to shoot for. My goal is to workout 5 days a week. However, I may workout more – or less. So, I have rules. I will never workout fewer than 3 days a week. This keeps me from ever getting out of a routine.
Rule #3: I will never miss a __(day of the week) .
One of my rules is to never miss a Monday. Mondays are the best day for most people to start fresh. By committing to hitting it hard every Monday, you increase your chances of sticking with it during the week too. If nothing else, you will begin to develop some consistency. 4 workouts a month is much better than none. And, if you follow the first 3 rules alone, you are working out 3 times a week Monday – Thursday, and that’s not too shabby!
Rule #4: I will do (the workout you need the most, and I like least) first.
We love to put off the the stuff we hate the most. That’s why I do my least favorite body parts first. For me, that’s legs. Since I am committed to going to the gym every Monday, I know I will be hitting the body part that needs the most work, and getting it out of the way. With the worst out of the way, I then look forward to the rest of my workouts and am less likely to want to skip. However, if I put off the worst for last, I will be much more tempted to skip it.
As soon as you say “if”, you are setting yourself up to quit. Just like my mom said when I was a kid, no “ifs, ands, or buts”! Quitting simply can’t be an option. I am always better off doing something than doing nothing. That means, even a 15 minute lame workout is better than skipping your workout altogether. That means working out only 2 days a week is better than nothing at all. Sticking to ANY routine is teaching yourself to stick to A routine. Then, the longer you stick with it, the easier it is to build on that routine and develop even a better one. No matter how bad you think you are doing, just remember, quitting is worse.
I put my top 4 rules in this this mantra for you guys today to post as your reminder
When I was growing up, I always said “the grass may be greener on the other side, but it still has to be mowed”. I have no idea what made me think of that, but I remember as a kid knowing that just because something looked better didn’t mean it didn’t require work.
Like our yard, our body is a direct reflection of how well we take care of it. We can nourish it, sculpt it, cut away dead grap, get rid of the garbage and maintain it to look exactly how we want it to look. OR, we can ignore it and let it grow out of control, unshapely and malnourished.
Next time you see a physique you like (like this smoking hot mystery chick I found), remember you could most likely look like that too if you took as good of care of your body as they did.
There’s no question you WANT it.The question is how BAD do you want it. Because if you really, REALLY want it, you will do whatever it takes to get it. In my line of work, I hear a lot of people who say they “really want to lose weight”, they “really want to get healthy”, or they “really want to have a six-pack”. But, honestly, they don’t – because if they really did, they’d really follow up and really make it happen.
Sure, they’d PREFER to be thin, fit, healthier, leaner – but in order to actually get thin, fit, healthy and leaner, they have to do more than “prefer” it, they have to be willing to DO it. What are your actions saying about what you say you want?
So many people aren’t as protective over their weekday investment as they should be. They loosen the reins - a little too much, only to find themselves regretful of the damage come Monday. If you are in the habit of sabotaging your weekend, here are some tips to help you stay on track.
5 Weekend Fitness Tips
1. Set your alarm. Just because it’s the weekend doesn’t mean you need to sleep in. If you really want to make the most of your day, start your day off right – and early. Get your workout out of the way and enjoy the rest of your day!
2. Plan one activity that requires you to be on your feet. For me, my 1 activity I’m planning to do is go to the Frog Leg Festival. Yes, you heard right! We are going to a nearby small town country-style festival to enjoy the some good old-fashioned festivities, which includes a lot of walking, shopping arts and crafts booths, and just enjoying the great weather.
3. Eat before you go out. If you want to eat well, plan ahead. For instance, we will eat a full meal before going to the Frog Leg Festival so the smell of funnel cakes won’t suck us in and tempt us to cheat. You can even do this before going out to dinner, or going to a party, so you can just nibble a little once you get there instead of be tempted to overeat.
4. Avoid alcohol. Many people blow a lot of calories on excessive drinking over the weekend. If you like to have a drink when socializing, trade it for a non-alcoholic beverage – or drink one water for every glass of alcohol to cut calories. Truth is, it wouldn’t kill you to completely go without, but if you are going to have one, keep track of the calories so you stay accountable and track your “damage”.
5. Beef up your cardio. If you know you’re going to fancy party or eating out, make room for the extra calories by getting some extra cardio in. Most people typically have more time over the weekend to exercise, but they are less likely to actually make the time. Fight the lazies and the temptation to feel like you “deserve the time off”. Working out is not work, it’s a luxury, and it makes you feel better – and THAT’s something you deserve!
Quick Weekend Blitz Workout:
I wish I could claim this brilliant quote, but it was actually the encouraging words from “Watson”, played by Lucy Lui, to young college girl (played by Melissa Farman) after losing her mom on Episode #11 in the new Sherlock Holms show called “Elementary” on CBS.
Of course there is no deeper pain than losing a loved one, but there are many other deep pains that can make life tough. The stressed of life can weigh us down so much that we can find it extremely difficult to get out of bed in the morning and face the world.
In the world of fitness, often times the sheer struggle of getting rid of the fat you accumulated over the years can feel like quite the battle. This battle can be discouraging, frustrating and exhausting – truly feeling like tough times.
Are You Tough Enough?
For many people, trying to look like Kate Battersby would feel like an impossible goal. Just losing weight seems hard enough, much less imagining having chiseled abs and smooth tight skin, after years of being stretched out. This feeling of hopelessness can cause people to give up before they even start.
People think “why me?” They don’t understand why getting fit and losing weight is so hard for them, and it leaves them feeling alone – but I want to encourage you like Watson encouraged that young girl, “tough times don’t last, tough people do”. The only reason someone else in the same position could lose weight and transform their body, is because they decided to be tough it out.
No matter what your battle is, finances, your weight, marriage, health issues, etc, it won’t last if you decide to be tougher than the battle itself. Sure, you can let your weight beat you up, and let it become stronger than you, OR you can fight it with all your might – and win. You can do the same in your marriage, with your finances and many other areas of life. Because, really, tough times don’t last, tough people do – and YOU can tough it out in 2013.
Joyce Meyer said “If you aren’t willing to get hurt, you can’t love”. Another words, love requires risks – and that same principle applies to fitness, because it too requires the risk of failure. If you aren’t willing to experience failures from time to time, then you will never experience success in anything you attempt to do and do well.
Although Fred Astaire could have totally given up (see above quote), he didn’t let that judge stop him. Wikipedia describes him as “a successful American film and Broadway stage dancer, choreographer, singer, musician and actor. His stage and subsequent film career spanned a total of 76 years, during which he made 31 musical films.” As Kelly Olexa says, “Booyah!” Take that Mr. Judgey boy! He sure showed you!
Failure Doesn’t Have to Be the End, It Could be the Beginning
Failure isn’t the end, it’s part of the journey. Quitting is the end – and it’s simply not an option when it comes to working out and dieting. Failing is just part of life, if you plan to do bigger and better things. Failing, at times, is inevitable.
Think about it. How many times must one strike out before they learn to hit a ball? Failing is part of practicing and fitness takes practice. Diet takes practice. Weight training takes practice. Running takes practice. And, learning how to manage calories going in and out takes practice.
Here are some of my favorite “failures” on the way to success featured on the Business Insider:
JERRY SEINFIELD: The first time Jerry Seinfeld went onstage, he was booed away by the jeering crowd.
WALT DISNEY was fired by a newspaper editor because he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.”
ALBERT EINSTEIN Albert Einstein didn’t speak until age four and didn’t read until age seven. His teachers labeled him “slow” and “mentally handicapped.”
R.H. MACY had a history failing businesses, including a dud Macy’s in NYC.
COLONEL SANDERS, Harland David Sanders, the famous KFC “Colonel,” couldn’t sell his chicken. More than 1,000 restaurants rejected him.
DR. SEUSS‘ first book was rejected by 27 different publishers.
HARRISON FORD: After his first film, Harrison Ford underwhelmed the producer and was told he would probably never succeed.
OPRAH WINFREY was fired from her television reporting job because they told her she wasn’t fit to be on screen.
Don’t quit, don’t stop …success maybe right around the corner! #getafterit