31 Days of Motivation,  Mantras,  PFOCUS

31 DAYS OF MOTIVATION: Define Your Fitness

Define Your FitnessIsn’t it funny how opinionated people are about body weight. “she’s too skinny”, “she’s too fat”, “she’s too muscley”, “she’s too lean”, “she looks like a man”, “she doesn’t even look like she lifts weights”.

I could be having a totally fat day (or month! lol) and people will feel the need to remind me that my fat day would be their skinny day. Does that make me feel thinner? No. Do I instantly feel dynamite, fit and happy? Not a chance. Do I still feel fat and crappy? Yep. Are my jeans still too tight? Yep.

Too fat, too thin, too confused

I remember one time, a couple of years ago, a company wanted to hire me to be a fitness model for a celebrity workout series, and another company wanted to hire me for a infomercial. In the same period of time, one told me I was too lean and muscular, and the other one said I needed to lose 15lbs. I had to laugh. I admit, at first I didn’t laugh at all. I was totally frustrated. I found myself dieting one minute, and trying to add some mass the next. I was on a fitness roller coaster ride and how I felt about my weight was determined by what others thought. Then I realized I just needed to be me. I needed to be at the weight I feel most comfortable, and not worry what others thought.

The issue of judging and stereotyping body types applies to everyone in some way or other – and it will likely happen to you too. As you diet and strive to reach your goals, it is not uncommon for people to tell you you’re getting too skinny, or to remind you how happy they’d be if they were at your weight. Another issue is people may judge you for caring about your body and health – maybe they think you are being selfish. They may judge you for the time you spend in the gym or how often you run. Some people perceive a healthy person to be vain or conceited. At the same time, fitness fanatics can come across equally judgmental.  As Johnny Depp playing Donnie Brasco said, “forgetaboutit”. What matters most is how YOU feel.

Don’t let people define fitness for you. You are the only one who knows what you have to do to feel your best and to do what you need to be healthy and happy. So set your goals based on that – not one anyone else is doing or thinking. Not what you think the scale should say or a magazine may tell you. Define your own fitness this year.


Owner of Lift Vero and motivational "pfitness, pfood and pfaith" blogger in Vero Beach, Florida.


  • boxer114

    Thanks for this awesome realistic perspective. I can’t think of how often I get people in the gym that have allowed themselves to be overcome by these ridiculous ideas of what fit and healthy are. I have in the last few years been trying to get my clients to focus on health and feeling good about themselves. So that they would have better happiness and peace in life.
    I have been able to influence most(thank God) however some have difficulty breaking away from the lies of the media.
    Please keep sharing this message as I will continue to do as well!

  • Katriel

    I SO appreciate this article! There’s a couple different fitness pages that I follow on facebook all about supporting fit women and their bodies. A few weeks ago, one posted the picture of the gal who was picked to play wonderwoman, with a caption complaining that she was way too skinny. Comments followed were like “Eat a sandwich!” “Real woman have muscle!” I immediately unfollowed that page. I think as women we tend to be a little insecure in our own bodies and so stuck in our mental idea of what the right way to look is. There’s fat shaming, thin shaming, muscle shaming…no matter what you look like there will be thousands of people who think you’re perfect, and thousands who think you need work. We gotta start loving ourselves more, but also being more respectful of other’s bodies as well.

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