Category Archives: Goals
“When Is the Last Time You Attempted Something Great?”
This is a very powerful question. I believe many of us avoid attempting great tasks to avoid experiencing great failure. There comes a time you have to ask yourself, “What is worse? Attempting something great and possibly failiing, or not attempting anything great at all and succeeding?”
I’ve recently been asked to do some pretty scary things – scary to me at least. My first instinct was to say “no”. Then I had to ask myself why I was saying no. Was it because it would hurt me? No. Was it because it would hurt anyone else? No. Was it because I was afraid to fail. The answer was yes – but that should NEVER stop me from trying something. When it boiled down to it, I had no other choice but to decide to do it because I really had no good reason not to at least try.
Sadly, many people never really ever try to do something great simply because they don’t want to fail. I believe we are looking at success all wrong. Success is not reaching your goal without opposition, struggle, failures or setbacks. Success is reaching your goal, or getting closer to your goal, despite all of that. Success is also not just doing what you are good at. You can be successful in just trying. You can be more successful attempting success, even if you fall short of your goal. Your goal may be in trying alone. Let me explain…
The Success In Trying
Someone recently suggested my mom be in the Ms. Senior Pageant. She thought long and hard on it and decided it was time she step outside her box and do it. Her goal was not to win. Her goal was to get out of her comfort zone and to experience personal growth, as well as encourage the other ladies there. Her goal was to show up.
Her dress didn’t come in time but she didn’t stress (I admit I would have freaked!). She could have easily used that as an excuse to back out. She could have taken that as an omen, “well it’s just not mean to be”, but she didn’t. She pressed on. She was scheduled to be out of town for work a lot, and she could have used that as an excuse for poor timing, but she found a way to fit it all in. She had never done a pageant before and struggled with the perception of being in a “beauty pageant” but she focused on what good could come out of instead. She had plenty of really good excuses but decided to not use one of them.
Just showing up for her was a big win. We were all so proud because we knew she was way out of her box. She was proud of herself. She said she would sit there at practice thinking “I can’t believe I’m doing this.” As I watched her on stage, I marveled at her bravery, knowing it wasn’t easy for her. I gleamed with pride and reflected on my own need to step outside my comfort zone. She not only did it – to her surprise, she won.
What If You Fail?
What if she failed? What if she didn’t even get to be a runner up? Would she really have failed? Absolutely not. She met some amazing ladies and she could celebrate the victory of stepping out of her box. The moment she said “Yes, I’ll do it” she succeeded. The moment she stepped on stage, she was a winner because she attempted something great. She practiced and performed her song. She memorized her philosophy. She learned how to walk, dance and prepare for such an event. She walked away with more experience, more confidence and more ways to encourage people. Whether she walked away with a crown on her head and a sash across her chest or not, she would have left a better person, a more fully developed person with one more great experience under her belt. Victory was inevitable.
I want to challenge you today to try something great. Don’t just attempt to lose 20lbs, attempt to lose the full 50 you need to lose. Ladie,s don’t try to just get any man, aim to find the BEST and GREATEST man for you. Don’t settle for a job you are miserable, keep applying for the job you’ve always wanted. Don’t settle for an average marriage, work hard to develop a phenomenal marriage. In every single attempt, you will likely see much improvement whether you reach your desired goal or not.
“Most people fail in life not because they aim too high and miss, but because they aim too low and hit.” (Les Brown)
I can’t tell you how often I hear people make decisions based on past experience. “Last time I tried that, I got hurt”, “I joined a gym once and I never used it”, “I’ve always been overweight and I always will”, “I’ve never been able to do that”, “I’ve never been able to control myself”.
These are all past-tense statements that are currently affecting the present. So what if you’ve never been able to control yourself. So what if you’ve failed 100 times? It doesn’t mean you will fail this time.
Take all your past experiences and learn what you can from them and then start NEW. Make NEW decisions, not based on who you’ve BEEN but who you desire to BECOME.
Weak people get strong. Out of shape people get fit. People fall, and they learn to get back up and secure their footing. I’ve known SO many people who have joined every gym in town and finally started to learn how to use the gym and become a success. I’ve know people overweight alllll their life (fully convinced they just inherited fatness) get fit – and even get shredded with physiques that belong in fitness magazines!
For every person out there who has a darn good excuse why they are depressed, overweight, unhealthy, tired or has failed, there is a person in the same exact situation with the same exact past who is succeeding.
You can be whoever you want to be despite who you’ve been. Redefine yourself. Start today.
Here are 7 Tips to Redefining Yourself
1. Learn to Move Ahead: Decide to accept responsibility for where you are if it’s your fault, and decide to forgive someone else for what you’ve been through if it’s someone else’s fault (poor childhood, abuse, etc). You can’t move forward if you are still holding on to the past.
2. Look for Lessons: What have you learned from your mistakes? Is it possible you didn’t follow the last diet like you were supposed to? What did you do wrong last time you tried to reach a goal? Was the goal too high, or did you just not give it 100% effort? Be honest, search hard, reach deep, find answers.
3. Promise to Improve: Write the list of mistakes you need to avoid and promise to improve. Promise yourself you will not repeat the past. When you want to repeat a mistake, claim the new you saying “that was the OLD me!”, reminding yourself of who you are NOW and who you are BECOMING!
4. Try New Things: Many people don’t experience the fullness of life because they are afraid to try something new. They cling to what they know, even if what they know isn’t good for them. Step out of your comfort zone and decide to try things that you know will grow you, strengthen you and improve you. (This is something I struggle with. I am working on stepping out of my comfortable safe box. It’s scary, but I know it will be rewarding.)
5. Train Your Brain: As Joyce Meyer says “where your mind goes, your body follows“. As SOOOON as you think a negative thought, you have to stop that thought and replace it with a positive one (or at least replace it with a truth you can hold on to). You have control of your thoughts – and if you don’t, they will control you. How we think is practiced, so we must practice right thinking. Take charge of your thought life and you will take control of your life. As soon as your mind says “I’m too tired to workout”, remind yourself “I always feel better after a workout”. If you think “I feel so weak”, remind yourself “but I am doing everything I can to get stronger”. Tell yourself “that was the OLD me, the new ME doesn’t think like that anymore”.
If you focus on your goals, you lose sight of your limitations. If you focus on your limitations, you lose sight of your goals.
6. Take Your Mind Off Yourself: The more we think about our own issues, flaws, shortcomings, problems, limitations, etc., the bigger obstacles they seem. There is a reason we say “focus on your goals” and “keep focused”, because we (trainers) know that when you focus on something, everything else gets out of focus, they grow dim, they blur out. If you focus on your goals, you lose sight of your limitations. If you focus on your limitations, you lose sight of your goals. However, when you look at your goal, and look at other people reaching their goals, you realize how little excuse you have. When I see one of our members rolling her wheelchair through the gym, or a overweight member hitting the elliptical for 45 minutes, all my lame excuses to skip cardio pale in comparison.
7. Rely on Science, not Hopes: Fitness isn’t like the lottery, where you play in hopes of winning. No, fitness is science. It works – period. Science doesn’t just work for one person and not another. If you aren’t getting results, there’s a reason. You have part of the equation off. Don’t keep doing the same thing hoping to get a better result. Find people who are getting results and do exactly what they are doing. I don’t know how often someone asks me what I do to stay fit and as soon as I talk about diet, they tune me out. They were hoping I told them about a new exercise or a magical piece of equipment. However, if they wanted to eat what I eat and do what I’m doing, they’d get the same exact results. It’s just science. Celebrate it! Learn more about it. You are your own science project – keep experimenting until you get the result you want!
Bottom line is this: It doesn’t matter what road you have traveled, what matters is what road you are on now. Get on the path to success!
Yesterday I saw a post from one of our struggling future first-time competitors in our private Bikini Boot Camp group on facebook. She has been totally rocking, her body is leaning out, she looks amazing, but since life happens (and all the junk that comes with it), she got a wave of doubt and began to lose motivation. So she reached out to the rest of the girls for encouragement.
It just so happened I already had created this quote for today’s blog, so I shared it with her (and the rest of the girls) along with this note. After I posted it, I decided I’d share some of it with you in hopes of giving you some encouragement too.
“This goes out to all the girls out there struggling, feeling weak, unmotivated, tired, sore, hungry, grumpy, teary-eyed, frustrated, full of doubt…
You can do this! This isn’t just about getting a hot body. It’s about being YOUR best! It’s about being healthy, taking care of the body God gave you. We all have “weak” friends, family members and people who NEED us to be STRONG for THEM! This isn’t just about you, it’s about who you can be for everyone you love and everyone who loves you. The happier you are, the better mom, wife, friend, co-worker, neighbor you are. If you can’t love yourself, you can’t love anyone else – because you can’t give something away that you don’t have to begin with.
“the hour you spend in the gym, makes you a better you the other 23 hours a day”
At first glance, you may feel your time in the gym is selfish – that it’s selfish to work so hard on “you”. But, TRUST ME. The hour you spend in the gym, makes you a better you the other 23 hours a day. You need this. Your kids need it. They need a strong mommy! Your husband needs a confident woman who feels as sexy as your husband sees you. Your friends need it. People are more likable when they feel good about themselves.
Strength goes beyond the gym – WAY beyond the gym. What you do in the gym creates an outward reflection of the discipline you are learning to apply in your life, to control your flesh and not let the world beat you up so you can be the best you you can be. Showing others you don’t have to give in to the Biggie Size temptations of this Biggie Size world. You CAN’T give up! People depend on you. It’s not just about your success, your success has the potential to impact every single one of your friends who are watching you and thinking “if she can do it, maybe I can too”.
YOU are a walking testimony for everything you believe in. It can be a good testimony or a bad one – that’s up to you.
Personally, I want to be a positive reflection of everything I believe in. I don’t want to teach my friends to give up on fitness, marriage, family, goals, career, God or anything else I truly believe in. There are people who depend on my success to motivate them to just even try. I want to encourage people to keep trying and to never give up – and that starts with ME not giving up. Who you can impact starts with YOU never giving up.
The hard work in the gym and kitchen is nothing compared to the victory you will have KNOWING you GAVE IT YOUR ALL, and that your all impacted people around you to give THEIR all. No one will EVER be able to take that away from you.
Now, let’s take things up a notch and act like the STRONG WOMEN I know each of you are! Let’s DO THIS! Can I hear an AMEN!?!?!?! <3
Let’s commit to lifting each other up, helping people stay encouraged and pressing on toward their goal! Lift Someone Up Today! Share this post if your friends need encouragement on their fitness journey! :)
MORE STRENGTH & ENCOURAGEMENT COMING TOMORROW!
Someone recently asked me how to get ripped. I said, “It depends on where you stop”. Here’s what I mean.
The woman who asked that question was already losing weight and leaning out. Whether she gets thin or gets super fit looking just depends on where she decides to stop. She can continue to lose fat as long as she continues her program. While your desired destination can be different than someone else’s, the process is basically the same. The same fit road has many stops along the way. You can stop at 10lbs lost, 20lbs lost or go until you reach super cut and fit.
The problem is, many people quit when they get comfortable. They think, “wow! I really like 20lbs lost. This is a fun place, I’ll stay here for a while and play”. While they are there, they start allowing for more calories – hence, breaking the weight loss cycle.
Another problem is people fall into a false sense of security. They get thin and begin to feel like they “deserve” the extra calories because they are now so fit and active. Because they aren’t as strict during this phase, they quickly lose a grip on how many calories they are really taking in – and before you know it, they’ve plateaued or even gained some calories back. The knee-jerk reaction is to rely on exercise to erase the extra calories, but they will quickly discover it is much easier to eat 1,000 than it is to burn 1,000 calories. Sadly, many people learn the hard way – after they gain some (or all) of their weight back.
Avoid making these mistakes. Avoid missing out on your biggest victory. Next time you feel like stopping, or settling for the results you’ve gotten so far, ask yourself this question: “What if I keep going?” Amazing things happen! “Better” happens! Even if you are doing great now, you can even do better if you keep pressing on. You can continue to improve. You can continue to get fitter, stronger, leaner, healthier. You can be victorious.
Don’t stop short of your greatest victory. Small victories are awesome, but you have even bigger victories awaiting you if you can just keep pressing on!
I’m back from my uncle’s funeral in Virginia. I’ve been mostly silent this past week while away with family. Life is too short!! Sadly, we often put work, life, social obligations, community and just plain busy silliness in front of the most important things in life – like family, our own health and precious friends.
Listening to all the stories about my uncle’s generosity, and of how he gave of himself, his money, his resources and his time really inspired me to be more giving and try to make the most out of this life of mine. It inspired me to want to live a life worth remembering – a life that makes a difference even more than ever. It also reminded me how healthy it is to take time off, even when we think we can’t afford it or feel guilty for doing it. God blesses our sacrifices and wants us to build quality relationships. He wants us to take care of our body, and our loved ones.
Oftentimes people leave this world too early because of their unhealthy choices earlier in life. While uncle Mac was a great steward over his money, he wasn’t as good at taking care of his health when he was younger. Even though he quit smoking, his tobacco abuse early on ultimately took his life – and we weren’t done with him yet!! My uncle had bi-pass surgery years ago, surely due to the tremendous amount of stress he endured while he built his businesses. It was only recently (just weeks ago) we discovered he had lung cancer, and just a few days later he was gone. I was just celebrating his birthday, and now we are mourning his life.
We never know how much time left we have, but one thing we can do is make better decisions today – healthier decisions today. I urge you not to wait until your later years to lose weight, get healthy, mend relationships, spend more time with family or live a life more pleasing to the Lord. Tomorrow isn’t promised, and even if you have many more tomorrows, what you do today greatly impacts how healthy and happy your tomorrow is.
What are areas in your life that need improvement or prioritizing?
Here are a few things I feel I need work on.
- Live less selfishly, being more eager to give my time, money and resources.
- Quit putting work before God, spouse and family.
- Invest in family and quality friends.
- Do more kind acts for loved ones – from writing letters, sending pictures, to cooking and serving them in any capacity I can.
- Take care of my body so I can be healthy enough, for long enough, to take care of others.
- Rest more. I’m no good tired. I can’t bless anyone if I’m constantly exhausted.
- Live like I’m dying – because I am, eventually. This means I decide to spend my time, conversation and effort on things that are important and lasting.
- Constantly strive to maintain balance. In this hectic world, it is easy to get out of balance. Maintaining balance takes a constant effort.
- Learn to say no. I don’t need to please everyone. I need to please God, my spouse, my family and then my friends (in that order). BUT 9 times out of 10, if I strive to please the Lord, I’ll be pleasing to so many more people just by default. And for the ones I can’t please, I wouldn’t be able to please both them and the Lord anyway. :)
- Simplify. I will find more time if I can simplify my life and not try to squeeze in every bit of entertainment, material item or extra work in every second. We have so much added stress that’s unnecessary and not worth the extra stress. By letting go, and doing less, we can do more of what matters.
I am about to reveal how this fit chick got so stinkin’ hot and tone. It may not be what you think. She didn’t get fit by talking about it. She didn’t sculpt abs by posting workouts on facebook. She didn’t take a pill. She didn’t do it in 6 minutes a day. She didn’t use the Ab Lounge or Thigh Master. It wasn’t her protein shakes, supplements or even her healthy eating that got her looking that good. It wasn’t good intensions, a support group or counseling. No, it was WORK. Very hard work – in the gym and in the kitchen.
Surprise! The people who reach their goals work for it. Their actions speak even louder than their words. They live today, how they they desire to be tomorrow. They don’t have to feel motivated and they don’t have to love each workout – they just have to show up and do the work.
Good News for the Rebel
We’ve heard all our life that actions speak louder than words, but how many people talk about getting fit more than they act like it? We are all guilty of that at some point. Sadly, I think we release ourselves from guilt because of our “good intensions”, but what does God say about good intensions? Check out this story that Jesus tells about two sons – one rebellious, and one who appears to be respectful. This is one of my favorite stories because it is so encouraging to see it’s not about how bad we mess up, but about getting on track (or getting back on track) after you messed up. It also (to me) speaks volumes about good intensions. Powerful & encouraging. Here’s the story…
“What do you think? (Jesus says) A man had two sons, and he came to the first and said, ‘Son, go, work today in my vineyard.’ He answered and said, ‘I will not,’ but afterward he regretted it and went. Then he came to the second and said likewise. And he answered and said, ‘I go, sir,’ but he did not go. Which of the two did the will of his father? They said to Him, “The first”.” Then Jesus goes on to say “Assuredly, I say to you that tax collectors and harlots enter the kingdom before you.” (simply because they believed and ended up repenting) Matthew 21:28-32
I think we all have a tendency to rebel. I also think we all “WANT” to do good, and don’t. Sometimes you just have to do what is right, even when you don’t want to (even if it is out of regret and guilt at first). As God blesses you for it (because He will!), I believe your heart will soften and the desires of your heart will change. Now, back to fitness and using this scripture for life application…
Actions Speak Louder
I believe these same applications applies to fitness (as well as many other areas). It is better to show up dreading your workout than to talk about it, pack your gym bag, and skip the gym. Good intensions aren’t going to get you results. Pretending to be fit, won’t get you results. Posting it on facebook won’t get you results. Your actions must reflect your desires – and sadly, your lack of actions may tell people that you don’t want it as bad as you say you do.
Like the priests and elders (Jesus was speaking to), talking the talk, is not as important as walking the walk. Going to the gym, but not being disciplined in the kitchen, is like going to church on Sundays, and acting like the devil at home. You have to live it - 7 days a week, in public and in private. Like I always say “what you eat in private will show up in public (on your hips!) eventually.”
“Don’t wait on motivation. Don’t wait to “feel like it”. It’s OK to fight it, hate it, dread it, and to rebel against it…at first.”
Just do it. Don’t wait on motivation. Don’t wait to “feel like it”. It’s OK to fight it, hate it, dread it, and to rebel against it and say “NO! I will not” (but regret it and go anyway). You can mess up, and still stand proud because you DID IT – and you WILL be rewarded. Then, the reward will keep you coming back, and do a major work in your life and body, as well as your mind.
Let’s commit to DOING not just SAYING. Let’s commit to ignoring our rebellious heart and mind, and be obedient – doing what we MUST do TODAY to go where we WANT to go TOMORROW.
I believe most of us want to do the right thing. We want to lose weight and take care of our bodies. We want to be healthy, disciplined and responsible. Now we just need to fully commit to LIVING like we WANT to live. Actions do speak louder than words – to you and everyone else who is watching, including God.
Are you acting as fit as you want to become?
Many people don’t ever reach their greatest potential because they don’t even try. Why don’t they try? Or why do they not try harder? It’s not because they don’t want to be thin and fit, or successful and wealthy, or have a happy marriage, etc – I believe it’s often because they really don’t believe they can change.
One thing you must understand as you prepare to set New Year’s Resolutions is that you will NEVER be able to change your current circumstance unless you change your mind first. You must actually BELIEVE you can change your current circumstance before you can work on changing your circumstance. All those motivational quotes about “believing in yourself” may seem a little cliche, but they have a lot of weight to them. If you don’t believe you can make the changes you desire, you will not attempt to pursue them. And if you do, it will likely be a half effort or a short-lived attempt.
People that struggle believing they can get the body they want, have thoughts that fill their head like “I’ll never look like her”, “I’m not disciplined enough”, “I don’t know what to do”, and “I can’t lose weight”, which stop them before they even begin. It doesn’t take long to start believing these lies, when really you don’t know what your body is capable of if you never put it to the test.
Steve tweeted this statement on twitter recently: “I’ll try” is already an excuse to quit! Think about it. When someone asks you if you can make it to an event and you say “I’ll try”, that is means “I probably won’t make it”, “I can’t commit to it right now”, “don’t count on it” or simply “maybe”. Steve challenged his twitter friends to “Quit trying! Start DOING!!!” That really is what it comes down to. We have quit our halfway attempts and COMMIT to doing what it takes to make things happen.
If you have been “trying” or you’ve been having a hard time believing you can make the changes you need to make, here are a few things to think about.
3 Things to Consider
1.) Look at other people who are headed toward their goal. All the weight loss stories you’ve seen and heard – they happen to real people just like you. I know countless people who said they never dreamed they’d be who they are now. I know people who literally cried through their workouts and cried their first few weeks of attempting to jog. I think part of their tears came from the pain and struggle. However, I think the other source of their tears was the fact they knew this is what they had to do to change their life. That could be you.
2.) Listen to the people who know better than you. Steve would often say, “You may not believe in you, but I believe in you.” Why? It really isn’t because he believes in you, he believes in the science behind what fitness can work in you. His smarts outweighs your doubts. If you can’t believe you could ever make a serious change in your life, then you need to believe in the professionals that KNOW it can happen. Trust them, follow them, and begin to move closer to your goals.
3. ) When you look at other people’s success stories, remember it could have been you. When you hear a success story, ask them when they started. That is the date that you too could have started. And TODAY, someone is starting their transformation and will be a success story. You can join them, or you can watch them. People who succeed are not extraordinary – they are normal people just like you who didn’t just start – they finished what they started.
ARE YOU A SUCCESS STORY?
What helped YOU to start believing you could do this?
Share your experience and own personal tips below!
You NEVER know who’s life it might touch!
Why do we fool ourselves into thinking it’s too late to get in shape, it’s too late to go back to school, it’s too late to get out of debt, it’s too late to change professions, it’s too late to save a marriage or repair a friendship? Those are all lies. It’s never too late. If your heart is beating, it’s not too late to make improvements and even pursue your dreams.
This year, I challenge you to decide who you want to be in 2014. When you picture that, decide what that looks like. What do you have to do? How must you act? What changes will you need to make? What type of people will you need IN your life, and OUT of your life, to help you reach those goals? It is super important to explore these things because you can’t expect a change without changing your actions and lifestyle.
I love the New Year because it’s a visible line in the sand that can mark change. We can kiss 2013 goodbye and decide this year is a fresh new year – a chance to start completely over if we want. A time to correct mistakes, right wrongs and live the life you were created for.
Let this new year be the making of a new you!
I agree with George Washington Carver. I do believe people who fail often, have a habit of making excuses often. It’s human nature to want to blame something or someone for our failures. Quitters love the word “if”, saying things like “I could lose weight IF I could afford a trainer” or “I could get in better shape IF I wasn’t so busy.” These excuses simply make people feel better about why they didn’t reach their goal.
The fact of the matter is, there is someone busier with less money getting results. So, as good as those excuses sound, it doesn’t mean that reaching your goal is impossible – it’s just going to be a little more challenging.
Instead, make a habit of determination. Make it a habit to do what you need to do whether you want to do it or not. Make a habit of finding solutions, not problems. Before long, you will be out of the habit of using excuses and in the habit of overcoming them.
When I think of what fitness is and how someone gets fit and stays fit, it’s painfully obvious it has little to do with how athletic they are. Fitness has little to do with abilities, coordination, strength or stamina BUT it has EVERYTHING to do with the BRAIN. Success begins in the noggin.
You don’t have to be Einstein to get results (thank the LORD, because I’d be DOOMED!), but you do need to get your brain fit before you can get your body fit. The problem is, people are working on getting their body healthy but their mind is still sick.
Sure, you have to burn calories and you have to do work to get results, but many people let their mind sabotage their body – when they have very capable bodies to get the results they want. I have witnessed people doing “less work” than another person, or lifting less weight than another, and getting amazing results. Why? It’s not because their body is in better shape (often times they are more out of shape) – it’s because they aren’t letting their mind get in the way of their body’s success. They keep showing up and giving THEIR 100% – no matter what that is. Read the rest of this entry